and here's the rant about france, the one and the only.

i am currently Facebook chatting with my friend john who just moved to france as well and is living in tours.. but who i get to see this weekend (yippee!), i have worked myself up and now i feel like ranting via blog.

i love france, do not get me wrong. but there are also some things about france that i cannot stand..

i should have known what i was getting myself into when i applied for my french visa and had to get the most ridiculous paperwork for the consulate, bring my paperwork to toronto, then i had to leave it with them to "approve" then come BACK to get it and ONLY between the hours they gave me, which was about the span of an hour. because heaven forbid they mail it back to me or have me mail it to them then pick it up.. because going to toronto to get my visa once would only makes sense. BUT, if i've learned anything while being here... nothing logical makes sense in france.

1) i hate that no one cleans up after their pets. i mean really, it is common courtesy that after your dog takes a big shit on the sidewalk.. you pick it up. this is why they make those tiny little doggie poop bags.. if you take your dog for a walk, bring one with you, it weighs next to nothing it's really not that big of an imposition for you. france is even placing stands with these doggie bags for free in their parks so you can use them without having to bring one with you.. how convenient. making a difference? no. i am not used to walking down the road and having to keep my eyes pealed watching for pieces of brown to avoid. the other day i even saw a couple in a MUSEUM park, let their dog poop.. they LOOKED at it, talked about the "off-colouring" said their dog could be sick.. then continued on their way. ew. if you have 10 minutes to discuss the poop.. you have 3 seconds to pick it up.

2) constant smells of urine. walking down the road the other day, downtown.. not even in an isolated area, and there was a guy just peeing on the side of a building. probably 2pm.. broad daylight. there are many "toilettes" for public use.. sure they cost 50 centimes but i am sure you can spare it, buddy. or at least go somewhere a little less obvious. because there is hardly any grass in the city (unless in parks) the urine just lingers all over the cement and is never absorbed and thus the odour also lingers.. from dogs, and men... appetizing isn't it.

3) i have learned that you have to wait for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g in france, nothing is "vite", if you will. it would ONLY make sense to be able to order train tickets online then print them off of your computer.. but no, i have to go INTO the train station, "confirm" my purchase then print them off there at their "guichets".. but the day i decide to go.. low and behold.. A STRIKE. another thing the french are famous for.. (we'll touch on this later). why i have to carry around 10 passport sized photos of myself wherever i go is BEYOND me.. because the french have not seemed to have mastered the convenience of digital cameras and printers.. bus passes, student cards.. give them your photo then they will MAIL you your card.. which may take 10 days to 3 weeks because hell, the post office might be on strike. you wait in a line in france, JUST to wait in another line. i was second person in the line for my student card... i was so happy thinking i'd be able to actually get in and out of an office in 10 minutes (not including the 30 minutes i waited from 1-1:30 while everyone in the office on on their "lunch".. because heaven forbid people take turns having lunch breaks.. all offices close from 12-1:30 for "dejeuner"). But, of course, the machine that makes students cards (i sent my passport photo in days before) broke as soon as it was my turn. and of course, they only had ONE machine.. so the girl sat on the phone for 35 minutes talking to someone about how to fix it.. why that person didn't come to the office, i am not sure.. finally fixed.. total time waiting= over an hour.. when i was second in line. brutal.

i've been told i'll get my "report card" the day after exams finish.. it's in writing on my acceptance.. nope. my friend told me last semester they were a month late in getting theres. typical.. i'm not expecting to see those badboys til at least late janurary.

the same goes for the caf. it is only open between the hours of 11-2. in order to pay for your lunch you have to use your student card. to put money on your student card, you wait in a line, pay this lady and she gives you a code.. you then take that code to ANOTHER line and wait to type it into this machine which them uploads the money onto your card.. why wouldn't she just do it all at once at the first desk?

4) all restaurants close from 4-7pm. why? i am not sure. what difference those 3 hours make, who knows. i'm sure it saves them about 30 euros on paying wages of their servers.. it's like no one wants to eat between 4-7.. what if i get hungry at 6?! is that such an odd time to want dinner?.. in france, yes. you can only eat from 7pm on. and do not get me started about how NOTHING is open on sundays.. and when i say nothing, i mean nothing. the rare "tabac" so i can have a pack of gum and cigarettes for each meal on sundays.

5) how no one uses the drying machine. i have to hang all of my clothes because electricity is too expensive to run the dryer all the time.. i wouldn't mind this if i could hang my clothes during the night to dry.. but you can only run the washer in houses from midnight til 7am because then water costs less. so i run my clothes at midnight, hang them to dry at 9am, they're still damp at 10pm because Nantes is a very moist climate.. so basically one load takes me about 2 days to do. annoying when you feel like wearing your favourite pair of pants that day.

My professor asked us the other day if we thought the french were high stress? i said, "how can they be, everything here is so slow and takes forever i feel like no one is in a rush or stressed about anything.. especially administrative stuff." she laughed and told me that if we thought something was logical, then it probably wasn't invented by a french person because nothing in the french bureaucracy makes sense. always waiting, just to wait (have a problem with it? you'll have to wait in a line for that..) and no point writing someone a complaint because they post will probably lose it in the mail or just choose not to deliver it, might be on strike. she said they definitely fulfill their stereotype of being the country of strikes.. because they strike about everything.. but realistically, i am not sure how much change these strikes seem to make since they seem to be happening every other day.

but hey, there's probably a protest about my same issues going on somewhere...

that's it. that is my rant.

i LOVE france and everything about it, the people, the food, the clothes, the history.. "TOUS"... except for the administrations. they just seem to have mastered the art of pretending like they're busy all the time when really doing nothing. biggest pet peeve.. they don't seem to care. it's just normal, we don't care if you wait 3 weeks for this important document.. not our problem. they're still making their wage whether they do 10 things an hour or 1.

no rush for anything.. nice for you, annoying for me.

also, if i have to walk behind one more person who is walking one step a minute.. i might throw some bows.

when learning a second language

i never truly realized how exhausting (and exciting), learning a second language could be. mainly because i've only ever taken french in classroom settings, and as soon as i stepped out the door of that classroom, i was in an english-speaking environment. thus, i always had the option of speaking in a language i was comfortable at, my native tongue. i was never forced to speak french outside of the classroom because i never had to.

here in france.. the native language is french (only would make sense right?) there are instances where i cannot speak english because someone might not understand it, and therefore i am forced to speak only french-- despite if i know the proper words or not. the most frustrating part about not being fluent in french is not having the words to express myself.

a line that comes to mind is "lost in translation". this saying is completely accurate when learning a second language. jokes that are funny in english, make no sense in french. same goes for pop culture references, and music. it works the other way too. trying to understand something french in english terms does not work.

my biggest fault is always thinking in terms of "how would this translate to english?" but, i'm trying my best to move away from this mindset and think in terms of french only. it is difficult. and it actually exhausts me a lot, trying to think in a different language all of the time. i am just breaking the point where somethings i don't have to think in english, translate into french, then say it.. i can actually just say it in french without thinking about it first and properly constructing what i want to say in my head.

there is one thing i realize day after day: learning a second language has made me realize how much i take my first language for granted and how easily i speak it.

since i don't actually KNOW french (fluently that is), it is nice to actually KNOW english. it is nice to not have to think about what i want to say all the time before i say it or think about the tenses i'm using or the proper constructions in my head.. i can just SAY it. doesn't involve much effort. my brain contains all the words to express how i feel (obviously i learn new english words all the time too). i am especially lucky that i do not need to learn english now, because if trying to learn french has taught me something else, it's that english makes absolutely no sense in comparison to other languages. there are parts of english that i love in comparison to french.. not having masculine and feminine for every single object in the language.. and there are such things are "it"s. having to memorize not only an entirely new vocabulary, it is difficult also knowing whether something is f. or m. who cares if an inanimate object such as a toilet is "la toilette" or "le toilette"?! (it's "la", if you were wondering)

also, when learning french and messing up a lot and saying the wrong things, all the time, and feeling stupid a lot of the time.. it is nice to know that when i speak in english, i am not stupid.. i actually know what i am saying.

makes me wish i had been raised bilingual. i find myself being extremely jealous of my 2 and 8 year old cousins who are bilingual in French and English and who know 10 times more than i do.

damnit me for dropping french immersion when i was in grade 3 then dropping french in grade 10 of high school, if i could i'd kick 15 year old me.

melted butter on a fresh baguette

as i sit in my garden on this 18 degree night, drinking an earl grey tea (what seems to help me make it through early mornings here), i realize that life here is a lot different than at home. life is what you make it and that if you want change it starts within you, not where you are, but i do believe that making a big geographical change helps you push yourself to change as well.

some of my favourite things here:

- i walk to and from the market every day or two for fresh produce and bread

- i can leave my window open as the sun goes down and there are no screens, because there are hardly any bugs

- just when i think i've met the most interesting person, i mean someone else who has a wild life story to share

- eavesdropping on people's conversations in both english and french, and actually understanding what they're saying

- enjoying all the drinks and foods for their quality, not the quantity

- learning a new word or phrase, and saying them right in conversation

- having dessert after every meal, usually cheese or a delicious tart

these are just some things i love in france. another thing i have embraced fully.. being alone. i am slowly gaining confidence to ask people questions without feeling stupid speaking french, even if it's wrong and slurred (for anyone that knows me well, i speak far too quickly, even in french). i am happy taking the metro alone to go to centre-ville to buy a sandwich on a baguette or grab a cup of tea and read by myself in a bistro.

4 months is nothing, and my good friends and i have been in contact a lot since i've been here, and will continue to be, and if not, then that's okay too. i'm 22, friends come and go, but i hope that everyone has the change for some adventures sooner rather than later.

despite how annoying it can get with how slow administrative stuff is in france, everyone is working at a slower pace, very laid-back, i enjoy this characteristic socially and think people can learn to just slow down and enjoy, stop being in such a rush to get to the next place.

one of my favourite profs once told me, it's not what you're waiting for, it's what you do while you're waiting.

you can't always wait for the next "big thing", some of the best moments are the small day-by-day happenings that do unnoticed but are what make up the bigger scheme of things as a whole. it isn't something or someone who will change your life, it's you. you are the only person who can instigate your own personal growth. sometimes you need to make a big change in your own life to change your outlook on things.

i'm not saying that being in a different country has made me a different person, but it sure has made me sit back and appreciate my life more and all the amazing moments that i seem to let myself rush through sometimes.

a la mode..

i am not sure if i will ever get used to the amount of smokers in france. everyone and their grandmother here smokes. that is not an overstatement.. it is rare to find people here that don't smoke or that haven't in their lives at one point or another.

walking downtown at 10am, there are people sitting at bistros with an espresso, book and a cigarette. the kicker is.. the majority of smokers that i have seen are the younger generation. you would think the younger generation would know all of the statistics on how bad it is for you.

the doctor i spoke to today said there seem to be almost more girls than guys that smoke now, especially in the younger generation, and she believes it's because girls feel the more they smoke the less they will eat and the skinnier they will get. she says smoking is "la mode".. very in fashion. i must admit, 14 year old girls look like they're about 22, and they do make smoking look appealing.. they make something about it look romantic, sexy and mysterious. everyone rolls their own cigarettes because it's cheaper.. and looks a lot more hard-core.. but at the same time. they look good now but won't be thinking the same when their teeth are brown and their lungs filled with gunk and nails and skin turn yellow.

proud to be canadian

i had to go to the immigration office today to prove that i was in good health and able to stay in the country. i had to wait several times and talk to 4 different people because there is ALWAYS a line to be in another line in france. though in my 2 hours at the immigration office and after talking to 2 very lovely nurses/doctors i realized just how lucky i am to be a canadian.

the first nurse as soon as she read i was from canada told me all about her summer vacation to niagra falls and how lovely it was to go to canada and that she cannot wait to go back. she from then on was very warm and nice to me when questioning me if i've had any major illnesses in my life (thankfully, i have not).

the second lady i spoke to, the doctor, was an even bigger fan of canada and we had a lovely chat as she listened to my heart rate and went over my chest X-ray. she was telling me (in french mind you) that she has never been to canada but she would love to go and she has only ever met the nicest people from canada. she then proceeded to tell me that france could learn some lessons from us. i told her how i found it weird that people don't really smile often here, unless you know them. no friendly smiles on the streets or public places, no "bon jours" while walking past someone on the sidewalk.. unlike in canada where i feel comfortable smiling at anyone i pass by. she said the french can often be cold and always are occupied (especially with the popularity in cellphones and personal electronics).

she told me that it is easier for most canadians to adapt in france since the language is easier for us to pick up with our accents and we don't feel as homesick because we're all so nice and social that we try our bests to integrate as well we can and we are also used to french since it's our country's second language, or first language if you're in quebec. though i will point out, the french generally dislike quebecers-- which is unfortunate (but i always tell people i'm english speaking canadian to win brownie points with the general population).

this wasn't the first time during my stay so far that i've been proud to be canadian, but i was a fairly significant one. i also have realized how lucky we are with our health-care and education systems.

it is strange being a "foreigner" but at the same time, i am happy that of any language, english is my first language. it is the language most used around the world and everyone here seems to wan to know it. we have it easy. i have never appreciated knowing a language, especially english, until i got to a place where only a small population speak english fluently. learning a second language is very tough-- but so interesting and fun. french is a beautiful language, much prettier than english, but i do realize how easy people who speak english have it-- all over the world.

i love many places, and can't wait to travel and live in several different countries.. but at the end of the day, canada is my home and i am so grateful for my life there with my family and friends. it's an amazing place to be born and live longterm. being canadian is nothing i am ashamed to tell anyone when traveling, if anything people are more accepting of me after they know my nationality.. which says a lot about our reputation.

does that chateau come with a price charming..

so as i knew, my host family in france had a "house" in tours. that's all i knew. i was quite surprised when on friday evening we drove down this long and winding pathway which led to a magnificent and huge, chateau. that's right, a chateau in the loire valley for a "weekend house". they bought it off of my host mom's grandmother (who also lives in an equally as beautiful chateau a 3 minute drive, or a 15 mins bike ride as i chose to do). they plan to rent out part of it to tourists, and they have already renovated the majorityof the chateau, and needless to say, it looks beautiful.

as i read yesterday on the terrace as a horse grazed in the pasture merely 20 feet from me, i couldn't help but feel like it was a scene from a movie. shouldn't a gorgeous and brave knight be riding up sometime soon like in ever after (drew gets all the luck)!

while taking a canoe ride in the river at the base of the chateau i realized.. i am happy. just utterly and undeniably happy. i couldn't have asked for a better host family, i have made some wicked friends so far from all over the world and i am trying new

things, stepping outside my comfort zone and doing it by myself.

i have always loved the big city and living in a place where there is something to do all the time, never realizing that there is always something to do in the country too. we canoed, we played archery, i read a lot, biked, drank wine on the terrace.. but best of all, i got to explore a place i had never been to in my life. it was nice just having an entire weekend to relax and not worry about anything. even when it rained the sunday there was something so satisfying about it, everything was just so green and lush.

i now understand why people in france love their countryside and never want to leave it. my host mom and dad want to retire at the chateau, and i can't blam

e them. it's gorgeous.

they call it the city of love..

I was in paris for 5 days before arriving in Nantes, where I'll be living for the next 4 months. A wise friend of mine once told me, "Remember Alex, Paris love isn't real love." This quote definitely made me laugh, but it must also hold some merit.

How can all of these couples actually be so happy? I am aware that every relationship has it's ups and downs. But, from what I saw during my wanderings of Paris, there was a lot of romance. Now I am not sure if my friend is right, but the city does have a romantic allure to it.

Wouldn't anyone be swayed if someone were to tell them "you're beautiful" while standing on the Eiffel Tower, or sipping espresso at a cute bistro on the corner?

On another note, I find that no matter where I was, there were complete euro-babes.. everywhere. Maybe it was the allure of the city, but I swear, the French are generally far better looking than most other people I've seen. This is probably true for most Europeans, as the Italian and Spanish are gorgeous as well. Is it wrong to say I believe in first sight after spending some time in Paris? Though not to say there was anyone specific.. I'm not picky when it comes to a tall, dark and handsome European.

Maybe Romeo and Juliet weren't crazy after all.

Point I'm trying to make is that the french just seem much more happy and in love than most Canadians and Americans I've met. They seem to "speak the language of love" and not just say how they feel, but show it as well. It is refreshing. The few couples I have met so far in my travels are super cute and as much as the country (being as beautiful as it is) might have an effect on the strength of love... they are just genuinely more happy.

i don't want to ever feel like i've missed out on a great opportunity. it is hard watching people around me decide their careers already, i am 21. i am not ready for an 8-5 job. 21 or 26, what is the difference? when i'm 26 i will have had 5 more years of life experience than those at 21. i know where i want to go in my life, i've always had a plan, but i am in no rush. plans are there so they can be adapted. why let fear hold you back? why let a boyfriend hold you back? independence will not be around forever. eventually i will get a relationship, a career, a house, a morgage, kids, debt.. but why rush all those things when they'll be here when i get back from doing my own thing, finding my own way.

"if someone were to hurt my family or a friend or someone i love, i would eat them. i might end up in jail for 500 years, but i would eat them." - johnny depp.

Life is something to be celebrated. whenever you're having a bad day, just remember how much there is to look forward to. happiness is a state of mind.

"but i need your love. and i said go easy, yah you go easy little doves, i'll be fine.." - brooke waggoner.

"you can love someone so much.. but you can never love people as much as you can miss them."

"i didn't need you, you idiot. i picked you. then you picked me back."

- john green.

"you don't need to change, the thing about you babe, i'm telling you, from where i sit you're one of a kind. relationships, i don't know why, they never work out and they make you cry, but the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind." - griffin house

"nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels." - sienna miller

i wish that i could relate to this quote.

i wish i knew then what i know now. if i'd known how much you would fuck with my head for years to come, i would have been the first one to walk away, and not keep letting you pull me back in.

What is a true friend?
A true friend is someone that you are so close to that you don't feel you'll lose them if you have an argument, you'll get over it, because you always do.
They are someone who you think of when you see or hear the most random, ridiculous thing.
Their smile makes you smile.
You can rely on them at any time of the day, for anything, at any point in your life.
They are there to listen to you, and for you to listen to them.
You can go days, weeks, months, even years without seeing them but when you do, it's like no time has passed at all.
A true friend does not fault you for minuscule things, like being busy, because they understand that no matter what you would be there for them at the end of the day.
They can put you in your place when you're head gets big, because they aren't saying things to hurt you, they're honest because they love you.
A true friend will be happy for you no matter what, even if they want more for you than you want for yourself.
A true friend is hard to find, but when you find one, or several, keep them close and remind them all the time how much you love and value their friendship because they deserve to hear it.

it's in those moments.