london calling

            The solo travels have begun. It is a strange feeling traveling alone in Europe (well me and a huge backpack). The first week I was with family friends in Biarritz (probably one of the nicest places I’ve been to up to date), so that didn’t really feel like “backpacking”. On September 5^th I set off for London. 

            London wasn’t quite what I had expected. It was a bit “newer” than I had thought, but nonetheless.. I lovedddd it. Such a great place, so busy, so many things to do and see, and quite beautiful (and the people have great fashion sense.. the shopping killed my bank account-- obviously).

            Though, the real interesting part of being in London for me was that fact that I was there by myself, with absolutely no agenda. It is a liberating feeling to be able to do what you want, when you want in a different country. Never worrying about anyone else or what they want to do or see. I loved being able to walk down the Southbank by myself, grab a coffee on a street side café and saunter back to my hostel when I chose to.

The intimidating part, at first, was meeting people. I am by no means a shy person, but you really have to put yourself out there when staying at a hostel by yourself. Despite making me nervous, I met some pretty interesting and amazing people. The first night I was there I just went to a bunch of people drinking in the common room and asked if I could join them and we ended up drinking the night away and dancing in the bar attached to our hostel. The next night a lovely 19-year old Aussie girl asked if I’d eaten, I said no, and we ventured into Borough Market area and found this fabulous seafood and sushi restaurant. It’s fascinating getting to know a person you have just met when traveling. We didn’t exchange last names, or emails, we just had a great night of dinner then drinking at the bar, meeting some Brits, then parted ways. Sometimes you don’t need more than that though, it’s a mere encounter that you will always remember.

The main thing I learned, after feeling nervous that I wouldn’t meet anyone while in a hostel alone my first few days in is that: If you put yourself out there, and are open to meeting new people, you realize that everyone traveling is just in the same boat at you are.  It’s good to push your boundaries and comfort levels every once in a while, because the more you do, you will end up meeting some of the most fascinating people, with such great stories to share, while also learning a lot about yourself. 

full circle

This past year has been both the most influential and best year of my life. August 24th last year I was on a plane moving to France for a semester abroad. On Tuesday I was on a train leaving my home for the past two months in Switzerland to begin my travels, starting in France.


In this past year I can say I have learnt more than I could have ever imagined about who I am as a person and what I want out in life. I think that is the beauty of traveling, it let’s you find your true self while losing yourself in different cultures and ideas. Things you thought before you began traveling might end up not being as true as you once thought; and things you never thought you could do, you can. You always surprise yourself when pushed outside of your normal comfort zone.

I have realized that one of the toughest things to do while traveling, or living abroad, is saying goodbye to the people you meet along the way. Whether they’re in your life merely a few days, or months, it never gets easier. Though what I have also come to realize is that time goes by so quickly. Whether you see these people again, or not, they have had a major role in your life and helped shape the person you are, even if the tiniest ways.

I am so grateful for the people that I have met over the past year. I am also so lucky to have an amazing group of friends back home in Canada, all of whom have been nothing but supportive of me, yet I have also been more than lucky to meet some of the most interesting, inspiring, and like-minded people while exploring Europe.

Even though saying goodbye is never easy, I never thought that a mere 4 months after moving home to Canada after living in France that I would be back in Europe living in Switzerland for 2 months, then traveling around visiting friends for 5 weeks. I guess we always come full circle eventually. So goodbye is never really goodbye, it is simply “see you”.

All being said, I am sure that in the next 5 weeks I will continue to meet people that will somehow play a role in my life; and nothing excites me more.

and here's the rant about france, the one and the only.

i am currently Facebook chatting with my friend john who just moved to france as well and is living in tours.. but who i get to see this weekend (yippee!), i have worked myself up and now i feel like ranting via blog.

i love france, do not get me wrong. but there are also some things about france that i cannot stand..

i should have known what i was getting myself into when i applied for my french visa and had to get the most ridiculous paperwork for the consulate, bring my paperwork to toronto, then i had to leave it with them to "approve" then come BACK to get it and ONLY between the hours they gave me, which was about the span of an hour. because heaven forbid they mail it back to me or have me mail it to them then pick it up.. because going to toronto to get my visa once would only makes sense. BUT, if i've learned anything while being here... nothing logical makes sense in france.

1) i hate that no one cleans up after their pets. i mean really, it is common courtesy that after your dog takes a big shit on the sidewalk.. you pick it up. this is why they make those tiny little doggie poop bags.. if you take your dog for a walk, bring one with you, it weighs next to nothing it's really not that big of an imposition for you. france is even placing stands with these doggie bags for free in their parks so you can use them without having to bring one with you.. how convenient. making a difference? no. i am not used to walking down the road and having to keep my eyes pealed watching for pieces of brown to avoid. the other day i even saw a couple in a MUSEUM park, let their dog poop.. they LOOKED at it, talked about the "off-colouring" said their dog could be sick.. then continued on their way. ew. if you have 10 minutes to discuss the poop.. you have 3 seconds to pick it up.

2) constant smells of urine. walking down the road the other day, downtown.. not even in an isolated area, and there was a guy just peeing on the side of a building. probably 2pm.. broad daylight. there are many "toilettes" for public use.. sure they cost 50 centimes but i am sure you can spare it, buddy. or at least go somewhere a little less obvious. because there is hardly any grass in the city (unless in parks) the urine just lingers all over the cement and is never absorbed and thus the odour also lingers.. from dogs, and men... appetizing isn't it.

3) i have learned that you have to wait for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g in france, nothing is "vite", if you will. it would ONLY make sense to be able to order train tickets online then print them off of your computer.. but no, i have to go INTO the train station, "confirm" my purchase then print them off there at their "guichets".. but the day i decide to go.. low and behold.. A STRIKE. another thing the french are famous for.. (we'll touch on this later). why i have to carry around 10 passport sized photos of myself wherever i go is BEYOND me.. because the french have not seemed to have mastered the convenience of digital cameras and printers.. bus passes, student cards.. give them your photo then they will MAIL you your card.. which may take 10 days to 3 weeks because hell, the post office might be on strike. you wait in a line in france, JUST to wait in another line. i was second person in the line for my student card... i was so happy thinking i'd be able to actually get in and out of an office in 10 minutes (not including the 30 minutes i waited from 1-1:30 while everyone in the office on on their "lunch".. because heaven forbid people take turns having lunch breaks.. all offices close from 12-1:30 for "dejeuner"). But, of course, the machine that makes students cards (i sent my passport photo in days before) broke as soon as it was my turn. and of course, they only had ONE machine.. so the girl sat on the phone for 35 minutes talking to someone about how to fix it.. why that person didn't come to the office, i am not sure.. finally fixed.. total time waiting= over an hour.. when i was second in line. brutal.

i've been told i'll get my "report card" the day after exams finish.. it's in writing on my acceptance.. nope. my friend told me last semester they were a month late in getting theres. typical.. i'm not expecting to see those badboys til at least late janurary.

the same goes for the caf. it is only open between the hours of 11-2. in order to pay for your lunch you have to use your student card. to put money on your student card, you wait in a line, pay this lady and she gives you a code.. you then take that code to ANOTHER line and wait to type it into this machine which them uploads the money onto your card.. why wouldn't she just do it all at once at the first desk?

4) all restaurants close from 4-7pm. why? i am not sure. what difference those 3 hours make, who knows. i'm sure it saves them about 30 euros on paying wages of their servers.. it's like no one wants to eat between 4-7.. what if i get hungry at 6?! is that such an odd time to want dinner?.. in france, yes. you can only eat from 7pm on. and do not get me started about how NOTHING is open on sundays.. and when i say nothing, i mean nothing. the rare "tabac" so i can have a pack of gum and cigarettes for each meal on sundays.

5) how no one uses the drying machine. i have to hang all of my clothes because electricity is too expensive to run the dryer all the time.. i wouldn't mind this if i could hang my clothes during the night to dry.. but you can only run the washer in houses from midnight til 7am because then water costs less. so i run my clothes at midnight, hang them to dry at 9am, they're still damp at 10pm because Nantes is a very moist climate.. so basically one load takes me about 2 days to do. annoying when you feel like wearing your favourite pair of pants that day.

My professor asked us the other day if we thought the french were high stress? i said, "how can they be, everything here is so slow and takes forever i feel like no one is in a rush or stressed about anything.. especially administrative stuff." she laughed and told me that if we thought something was logical, then it probably wasn't invented by a french person because nothing in the french bureaucracy makes sense. always waiting, just to wait (have a problem with it? you'll have to wait in a line for that..) and no point writing someone a complaint because they post will probably lose it in the mail or just choose not to deliver it, might be on strike. she said they definitely fulfill their stereotype of being the country of strikes.. because they strike about everything.. but realistically, i am not sure how much change these strikes seem to make since they seem to be happening every other day.

but hey, there's probably a protest about my same issues going on somewhere...

that's it. that is my rant.

i LOVE france and everything about it, the people, the food, the clothes, the history.. "TOUS"... except for the administrations. they just seem to have mastered the art of pretending like they're busy all the time when really doing nothing. biggest pet peeve.. they don't seem to care. it's just normal, we don't care if you wait 3 weeks for this important document.. not our problem. they're still making their wage whether they do 10 things an hour or 1.

no rush for anything.. nice for you, annoying for me.

also, if i have to walk behind one more person who is walking one step a minute.. i might throw some bows.

when learning a second language

i never truly realized how exhausting (and exciting), learning a second language could be. mainly because i've only ever taken french in classroom settings, and as soon as i stepped out the door of that classroom, i was in an english-speaking environment. thus, i always had the option of speaking in a language i was comfortable at, my native tongue. i was never forced to speak french outside of the classroom because i never had to.

here in france.. the native language is french (only would make sense right?) there are instances where i cannot speak english because someone might not understand it, and therefore i am forced to speak only french-- despite if i know the proper words or not. the most frustrating part about not being fluent in french is not having the words to express myself.

a line that comes to mind is "lost in translation". this saying is completely accurate when learning a second language. jokes that are funny in english, make no sense in french. same goes for pop culture references, and music. it works the other way too. trying to understand something french in english terms does not work.

my biggest fault is always thinking in terms of "how would this translate to english?" but, i'm trying my best to move away from this mindset and think in terms of french only. it is difficult. and it actually exhausts me a lot, trying to think in a different language all of the time. i am just breaking the point where somethings i don't have to think in english, translate into french, then say it.. i can actually just say it in french without thinking about it first and properly constructing what i want to say in my head.

there is one thing i realize day after day: learning a second language has made me realize how much i take my first language for granted and how easily i speak it.

since i don't actually KNOW french (fluently that is), it is nice to actually KNOW english. it is nice to not have to think about what i want to say all the time before i say it or think about the tenses i'm using or the proper constructions in my head.. i can just SAY it. doesn't involve much effort. my brain contains all the words to express how i feel (obviously i learn new english words all the time too). i am especially lucky that i do not need to learn english now, because if trying to learn french has taught me something else, it's that english makes absolutely no sense in comparison to other languages. there are parts of english that i love in comparison to french.. not having masculine and feminine for every single object in the language.. and there are such things are "it"s. having to memorize not only an entirely new vocabulary, it is difficult also knowing whether something is f. or m. who cares if an inanimate object such as a toilet is "la toilette" or "le toilette"?! (it's "la", if you were wondering)

also, when learning french and messing up a lot and saying the wrong things, all the time, and feeling stupid a lot of the time.. it is nice to know that when i speak in english, i am not stupid.. i actually know what i am saying.

makes me wish i had been raised bilingual. i find myself being extremely jealous of my 2 and 8 year old cousins who are bilingual in French and English and who know 10 times more than i do.

damnit me for dropping french immersion when i was in grade 3 then dropping french in grade 10 of high school, if i could i'd kick 15 year old me.

melted butter on a fresh baguette

as i sit in my garden on this 18 degree night, drinking an earl grey tea (what seems to help me make it through early mornings here), i realize that life here is a lot different than at home. life is what you make it and that if you want change it starts within you, not where you are, but i do believe that making a big geographical change helps you push yourself to change as well.

some of my favourite things here:

- i walk to and from the market every day or two for fresh produce and bread

- i can leave my window open as the sun goes down and there are no screens, because there are hardly any bugs

- just when i think i've met the most interesting person, i mean someone else who has a wild life story to share

- eavesdropping on people's conversations in both english and french, and actually understanding what they're saying

- enjoying all the drinks and foods for their quality, not the quantity

- learning a new word or phrase, and saying them right in conversation

- having dessert after every meal, usually cheese or a delicious tart

these are just some things i love in france. another thing i have embraced fully.. being alone. i am slowly gaining confidence to ask people questions without feeling stupid speaking french, even if it's wrong and slurred (for anyone that knows me well, i speak far too quickly, even in french). i am happy taking the metro alone to go to centre-ville to buy a sandwich on a baguette or grab a cup of tea and read by myself in a bistro.

4 months is nothing, and my good friends and i have been in contact a lot since i've been here, and will continue to be, and if not, then that's okay too. i'm 22, friends come and go, but i hope that everyone has the change for some adventures sooner rather than later.

despite how annoying it can get with how slow administrative stuff is in france, everyone is working at a slower pace, very laid-back, i enjoy this characteristic socially and think people can learn to just slow down and enjoy, stop being in such a rush to get to the next place.

one of my favourite profs once told me, it's not what you're waiting for, it's what you do while you're waiting.

you can't always wait for the next "big thing", some of the best moments are the small day-by-day happenings that do unnoticed but are what make up the bigger scheme of things as a whole. it isn't something or someone who will change your life, it's you. you are the only person who can instigate your own personal growth. sometimes you need to make a big change in your own life to change your outlook on things.

i'm not saying that being in a different country has made me a different person, but it sure has made me sit back and appreciate my life more and all the amazing moments that i seem to let myself rush through sometimes.